Cheney Pulls The Wool In Montana

Story and Photos by Josh Mahan

Left: Cheney does Burns' dirty work and presses some Montana flesh as the disgraced senator quietly exits the scene in the top-left of photo.

KALISPELL, Mont. -- It’s embarrassing for any Republican incumbent when big-daddy Dick Cheney has to swoop into your state in the final hours of the campaign to rev up the home-state troops.

During Burns’ brief comments to the crowd he mentioned that he was a corporal in the United States Marine Corps and, “Thinking wasn’t in my vocabulary, but do was.”

Critics of Burns contend that not much has changed since that time.

Burns brought shame to the state of Montana earlier this year when it was announced that he had received $150,000 in exchange for his vote and was being investigated for his collusion with criminal lobbyist Jack Abramoff. It’s still not known if he was thinking or merely doing when casting his vote in the United States Senate.

Burns’ seat had been chalked up to a loss by Republican nationals as the Democratic populist candidate Jon Tester handily led by double digits during the dog days of summer with an integrity-based campaign that focused on working-class issues. But, an aggressive negative campaign strategy has proven to be effective in swaying Montana’s undecided vote, bringing Burns back to within three percentage points of Tester as the vote looms.

Right: Conrad Burns briefly introduces Dick Cheney in front of the entire Montana Republican ticket.

Cheney touted the party line whipping up a Democrat hate fest for the Dems stance on taxes and national security. Cheney said that the Democrats would repeal tax cuts initiated by the Bush administration throwing the economy into tailspin, and threaten the security of American families by removing troops from Iraq. The crowd of 1,000 heartily ate out of Cheney’s hand, waving pom-poms without considering the financial cost of war and the source of that money. Nor were they considering the danger American troops face in Iraq, or the deathly discontent that grows with each day of occupation.

Cheney did concede that foreign affairs require “not only toughness, but wisdom.”

Bush wasn’t on hand, so the speeches were essentially gaffe-free. But comic relief was offered when young Republicans began chant-spelling the word victory, but loudly omitted the “T.”

Per usual the press corps was tucked securely in the rear of the horse arena – completely unable to do anything but soak up the scene and regurgitate the hollow Republican ideals that echoed somewhere just above the dirt floor. There was no face-time with Cheney, Burns, or Rehberg, Montana’s sole congressional representative. Lowbagger for some reason was given a front-section red ticket. Who says we don’t get any respect?

Rehberg, the junior delegate, was very much his brother’s keeper throughout Wednesday’s event, nudging the zoned-out senator as to when he should chuckle, and guiding Burns by the elbow whenever it was time to move positions. Rehberg helped warm up the crowd and introduced himself as Burns’ 1988 campaign manager.

“Folks say that Washington changed Conrad, those people don’t know Conrad, he hasn’t changed,” Rehberg said, who has plotted his campaign against Democratic challenger Monica Lindeen very quietly in Conrad’s large and scandalous shadow. Sadly many Montanans who have a grudge against Burns don’t realize that grudge should be directed at Rehberg, too. The two are peas of the same pod, but the sharp politico Rehberg has distanced his reputation from the Burns sinking ship and is expected to win re-election.

Expect the Republican attacks to occur for the next week. When the smoke clears we’ll see if Tester’s reputation for honesty was able to upset the powerfully corrupt Conrad Burns, and possibly reshuffle the entire deck of the U.S. Senate’s power structure.

For all who ever thought that Montana doesn’t play a part in national politics, I only have one question.

How do you spell impeachment?

Josh Mahan is ready for the Democrats to take Montana back after two-decades in the cold.